• Ashley Bowman

For the Helicopter Mom

As I was wheeled out of the hospital with our first newborn baby, I felt overwhelmed by the responsibility.


This fragile little baby was now completely reliant on my imperfect, mistake-prone abilities.


How was this teeny, tiny, delicate life supposed to be completely cared for and protected by me?


As he grew up, I became a helicopter mom. I was constantly hovering over him, making sure he didn't get hurt. I made sure other kids were nice to him. I obsessed over everything from what he ate to what he learned. I wanted him to have the best start in life and the best opportunities.


I was believing several lies: It was all up to me to make sure he was thriving. It was all up to me if he turned out well. It was all up to me to keep him alive. It was all up to me.


I was able to helicopter well when there was only one child.


Then we had two and we each had to take one.


Then we had three and we had to play zone.


Then came four, and that absolutely broke me.


I couldn't keep up with all of them. They were all different ages, going different places, doing different things. I couldn't hover over them all. I couldn't control them all. I couldn't protect them all.


I couldn't even get them in the same room.


I couldn't even get them in the same photo frame.


Where was I supposed to go when they were in four different places?


Who was I supposed to protect when they were all running different ways?


I was stretched in four different directions and could not be four places at once.


Something had to give.


Have you felt this way?


Whether you felt this way when you had your first baby or when you had multiples or when they started preschool or when they started to drive or when they went to college, I think at some point, we all realize:


This is out of our hands.


Thankfully, the truth is, our children are in God's sovereign, perfect hands. Scripture tells us:

"Behold, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands" (Isaiah 49:16).

Breathe in. Our children are in God’s hands.


Breathe out. It's not all up to us.


Rest in this truth.


God wrote out each of their days before they were even born. Nothing surprises God--not even our imperfect parenting. The Bible says,

"Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them" (Psalm 139:16).

God has written out their days before they were even formed. He has a perfect plan and purpose for them.


I sometimes think God gave me so many kids to help me to chill out and recognize I am clingy on to them too tightly.


He revealed that I idolized myself as their savior and protector, when they already have a perfect Savior and Protector.


He revealed how I was idolizing my children, trying to make them turn out the way I wanted them to, rather than allowing God to have His way and perfect plan with His kids.


After I had four, I came to this realization: these kids are not mine. They are God's. He gave me the privilege of getting to raise them here on this earth. But because they are His, He is in control and He is their ultimate protector and provider. He will protect them and give them everything they need...including a mom who is just the right parent this child needs, mistakes and all.


All we can do is try our best, pray hard, and trust God with the rest.


These kids are His.

They are in His hands.

It's not all up to us.


And for the helicopter mom who can no longer hover, that's very good news.


God, Please help us to remember that we are caring for Your children and that our kids are in the palm of Your loving, sovereign hands. Help us to release them into your care. Give us wisdom to parent well, but also fill us with peace and help us trust that our children's lives and future are really in Your hands. Thank you that you love our kids even more than we do and that they are in the best possible care at all times. Amen.





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